English 218R: The R is for Rocks

Rocks like the present tense verb conjugation, not like the noun.

Anyway, I had a lot of fun coming up with things to write about for my creative writing class prompt. The assignment was to pick 5 random things in your life that don't have obvious significance (like a teddy bear means comfort and childhood, so not that) and write about them without using the name of the object in your paragraph. Here's what I came up with:

Collar Stays

As I slip them into my shirt, I cringe just a little, knowing they represent my kneeling before the altars of capitalism and formality. But they also mean I won’t look like a slob. I hate how often I lose them and can never find two of the same size in the very moment I need them most; it’s like they know just when to fall behind my dresser. Tricky little white sticks of conformity.

Acoustic Guitar

She makes me feel so guilty every time I see her. I’m sure she’s lonely and misses the fun times we’ve had, and so do I. I tell myself that if I had free time we would be together, but we both know that’s a lie. And so she sits gently weeping in my closet.

Jimmer Poster at the BYU Bookstore

I loathe you, speaking to you as an object and not a human being. You represent the sports idolatry that my father taught me to hate since I was a child. The bros love you, standing around with their popped collars shouting modified Chuck Norris jokes, giving each other high-fives and bumping fists. Sure, you can put a ball through a hoop like nobody’s business, but it’s suddenly become everybody’s business and I can’t stand it.

Weight Lifting Gloves

I feel strong and serious and intense and dedicated when I put them on. Then I look in the mirror and think, “Am I more manly for being legit enough to wear these, or would it be even manlier to have calluses on my hands?” I’m torn, but only from 6:30 in the morning until about 8:00. After that it really doesn’t matter.

The Daily Universe

The police beat is what keeps you alive. If it weren’t for the hilarious antics of our university police, there would be no need to print you. You’re not soft enough for emergency toilet paper and I’m not allowed to have open flames in my apartment, so I can’t use you as kindling. News? Oh that’s what they’re calling you? Ha!

And that's it.

If you can't tell, I really love my creative writing class, and we're only in the second week. I hope you find something this week that you love to do, and then go do it!